Lael Atkinson is dedicated to helping individuals overcome challenges related to substance use and disordered eating through their recovery coaching practice and their Beyond Shrinking & Drinking program. As a certified professional recovery coach, Lael combines their personal journey in both areas with professional expertise to offer both one-on-one and group coaching. Their unique approach emphasizes early intervention and tackles the often-overlooked connection between drinking and issues with food and body.

During the interview, Lael shares their inspiring story of coming out later in life, overcoming personal struggles, and finding a path to recovery. They discussed the challenges of raising awareness about their services and emphasized the importance of providing support specifically tailored to the LGBTQ+ community. Lael’s passion for their work shines through as they offer advice to future service providers and highlight the necessity of queer-led recovery spaces. Let’s jump right in!

Can you walk us through your professional journey and how you got to where you are today?

I came out as queer later in life, at the age of 44. At that time, my marriage was ending, I was isolating myself, and I had taken a leave of absence from my job. I was literally at home, alone, and that isolation, combined with my drinking, really scared me.

In early 2017, I did my usual dry January to keep myself “in check.” I always hated it, but I could do it. However, when February came, my drinking ramped up so fast that I realized, "This is scary. Nobody has any idea what's going on with me if things were to get bad." Thankfully, a self-preservation instinct kicked in, and I decided I needed to take a break.

“From there, I learned that sobriety, or recovery, is about much more than not drinking or engaging with a substance or behavior. It's about facing the things you’ve been trying to numb or run from, both past and present. It's about learning coping skills and tools that are more helpful than harmful, managing stress, and evaluating the people and relationships in your life to see if they are supportive. It's about finding a community where you feel safe to be your full self and creating a life you don’t need to escape from.”

I searched for non-twelve-step programs and found one that I really liked. The people in that program became my community. I learned in-depth about the different coping mechanisms you can use instead of substances or harmful behaviors. At that time, I was already enrolled in a holistic health coaching program and I decided to also enroll in my first recovery coach certification program. I had already realized that I wanted to be engaged with recovery for the rest of my life.

What is one of the biggest challenges you have faced in your journey as a service provider, and what did you do to overcome this?

My biggest challenge has been how to get the word out, how to let people know about my work. Marketing does not come naturally to me! And on top of that, we’re already dealing with two areas – substance use and mental health (as eating disorders are mental health disorders) – where people face so much stigma and may therefore be ashamed to reach out for help.

I’ve done my best to address this by being open about my own story in my work and on podcasts where I’ve been a guest. So many people struggle alone unnecessarily, thinking that they are broken or hopeless. I want to let them know they are not—not alone, not broken, not hopeless. Countless folks besides me have been where they are and were able to come out the other side. And it is so much easier to do when you have support.

If you could give one piece of advice to future LGBTQ+ service providers within your field, what would it be?

Don’t doubt that you are needed – you are!

Finding queer spaces in recovery is like finding a tiny drop in an ocean. I've been in recovery spaces where although efforts are being made to be more progressive, such as using gender-neutral language, you may still repeatedly hear phrases like "hey, ladies," which can be disheartening. In these spaces, where vulnerability is already heightened, it's crucial to feel as safe as possible. While the intention is to create "brave" or "accountable" spaces, sometimes language or a lack of awareness can make it challenging to feel truly comfortable.

Recently, I returned to a dedicated queer recovery space. It was like I had been holding my breath and could finally exhale. Suddenly, I had so much more energy because I wasn’t expending it on dealing with subtle prejudices or carelessness. These spaces are essential. Queer individuals leading these spaces as volunteers, coaches, or in any capacity make a significant difference. The statistics on substance use in the queer community underscore the necessity of these spaces.

How does being openly queer inspire or impact your business?

As mentioned before, both substance use and disordered eating are things that people use to cope. And sometimes the thing they’re coping with is oppression, whether it’s because of their queerness, the color of their skin, the size of their body, or a combination of these or other oppressed traits. As wonderful as it is to be queer, it can also come with a variety of challenges: lack of family acceptance; social stigma and discrimination; legal challenges; bullying and outright violence; expectations of rejection; concealment of one’s identity; internalization of negative cultural attitudes, beliefs, stereotypes, and values; depression, and anxiety. All those and more. The queer population is particularly vulnerable to co-occurring eating disorders/disordered eating and substance abuse. A national survey by SAMHSA in 2020 found that 61.6% (10.3M) of LGBTQ+ adults had a mental illness and/or substance use disorder.

So I am especially passionate about supporting those in my queer community.

What brands or services by LGBTQ+ founders are your go-to's and why?

TomboyX was one of my earliest discoveries when I started exploring my gender and remains a favorite. Also, Chani Nicholas – both her book and the Chani app – is my go-to for all things astrological.

Who is your favorite LGBTQ+ celebrity and why?

I have more than one, but for now I’ll go with the comedian Margaret Cho. She’s queer, sober, an activist, and hilarious!

Can you share one fun fact about yourself?

I have a few! I climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro in 2013 – it was an amazing opportunity that I will forever be grateful for. I went to a high school where you had to chop wood to make fires to heat the water for showers. Also, I lived overseas – in both India and Africa – for the first seven years of my life.

Visit Lael’s profile on Famm here. Visit Lael’s website here.